Road To Freedom

There are some things I need to get out, that I do not feel needs to be amongst the main content I post on this blog. In particular, I need to get out what I am feeling, etc in regards to a surgery that I will be having done at the end of this month.

Because I can, I have decided to devote a tab to my upcoming LAVH surgery.

The Journey So Far

On October 29th, I will undergo a Laparoscopic Assisted Vaginal Hysterectomy (or LAVH for short). The end of this month marks the end of monthly suffering and the beginning of a new life. A free life. I will be free. I like being free. Free is good.

How did I get to this point? Well, it has been a long road to get here. There have been many types of birth control in my life. I have been on and off birth control since I was 19. I went on birth control for my health, not for my sex life.

The birth control as treatment was always just a bandage. It covered the wound for a while. But like all bandages, I would have to replace one with a new one. – Alesse; Demulen; Mircette; Loestrin; Ortho-Cyclen; Ortho Tri-Cyclen; Lo-loestrin; Nuva Ring; and others. I have used my fair share of birth control pills over the years. And in the end, they all would be rejected by my body. So, I decided I was done, I hoped.

When I stopped taking birth control, I knew that the old symptoms that first led me to taking birth control, would return. I did not realize that each month, they would worsen. It got to a point, where my husband (then my fiancé) suggested I go see a new doctor and figure out if there are other alternatives to help out. And I did.

Some of us never hear the “biological clock” ticking urging us to procreate. I never wanted children. I never had the calling. I never had the yearning. I never changed my mind. I never asked for any of this. Yet, I must suffer with this monthly nightmare. It is not a pleasant experience. I cannot stress that enough. I don’t feel sad when my eggs go unfertilized each month. And I do not like that when it does happen, it goes out of my system with such intense discomfort. If anything, the worse the cycle is each month, the more I want it all out of my body.

Now, here I am, three weeks away from my procedure and it cannot come soon enough. Hah! I suppose you could say that is my biological clock ticking.

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