My grandmother passed away last weekend, on February 13th. Since then, it has been a random mixtape of emotions. This is to be expected. It managed to stop my forward momentum. And it should. I should take some time to mourn the loss of my grandmother. I should take some time to adjust to my grandmother no longer being around. I should take time to sort out the “What now?” moments.
And I am. And I will.
I should be adjusting. I should be transitioning the worry and stress I was feeling in related to my grandmother’s health and its overall effect on the family to some new feelings. Joy. Release. Happiness. Relief.
And I am.
I should be returning to a normal.
But I should not rush it.
But I do not want to be feeling like this any longer.
I feel aimless. I feel like I am in limbo. I feel numb. No? I feel numbish.
I prefer the numbish not stay around much longer. I prefer to no longer feel aimless.