I feel good. Why does that make me feel bad?

I feel good. I am riding a lovely high of “Life is good” and I am enjoying it. It feels good – great, amazing, fantastic – to be enjoying life. I am happy. I spent so much of my life not happy. Now I am and I find myself feeling bad about it. Why? Why do I do that?

I see what others are going through right now, and it makes me feel bad that I feel good. I find that when I am talking with certain people, I hide my happiness and contentment as best I can, because their lives are not going so well. Is this why I try to find reasons to be unhappy? I do not want them to feel like they are the only ones suffering?

Seriously, why do I feel bad about feeling happy? Why can I not be more selfish about my own happiness? Honestly, most of the time that I feel good, there is this little voice in the back of my brain telling me that I should not boast about it – others are not as happy.

When my brain needs to react (to anxiety for example) it does not. When I need my brain to keep silent, it shouts. My brain and I need to have a little conversation after this. It apparently does not understand the priority levels for what is to what is not important.

I feel good and I should feel good about it.

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