I am about to begin something that terrifies me. The funny thing is that you would think that I would be so excited and energize to have the opportunity to be able to embrace something I have wanted to do for so long.
But I am scared. I am really scared.
Why am I so scared? Because I have to allow myself to lose control. I have to allow myself to accept that there is going to be a lot of failure – more than there will be success. Can I be ok with that? Will I be able to let myself let go of the need to know what goes next?
I do not know. But I have to do this. And I know that once I get going, I will love every moment of it – except maybe the failures. I suppose I will find out, won’t I?
I guess, accepting failure is the first step towards improvement. Maybe, it will help me realize my limits – what I can do and cannot do.
So, what is this big “something” (should that actually be in all caps? Yes, SOMETHING) I am briefly writing about?
Art. Pursing my childhood dream to become an artist. I do not want to become an artist for fame, but more for myself. I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror, or look at my work and say “Yes, I am a great artist. I am proud of this.”
And I suppose that must start with “Well, this thing sucks, but now let me see where I can go from here.”
Fill the page, and start again.