Mild Ranting Time

It is mild ranting time. In advance, I want to thank you for my rant.

I am in the process of deleting my Facebook account. When I first created my account, I did it because my friend, D (we shall stick with first initials) talked me in to it. Initially, it was a fun thing – you got reconnect with people you have not seen or talk to in years.

However, my feed has evolved from fun, simple posts (photos from a recent trip, or a quick “hello”) to people writing about anything that pops in their heads. “Hey look, I just threw up. Isn’t that cool?” for example. Or “Hey, I am in driving right now – driving a heavy piece of machinery. Why don’t I take my eyes off the road for a few seconds, endanger those around me, and take and post this picture of the back side of the truck in front of me. LOL.”

My feed also turned into a lot of “hey, support my cause because if you don’t, a kitten will die.” While “volunteering” for a non-profit (I was being paid, it was part of my job), I was required to post on my feed, like other volunteers’ posts, and share info related to events this non-profit was doing. It made me uncomfortable. I hated doing that. I am not a fan of people forcing their agenda on others. I do not force my agenda on others.

Although, my agenda is totally the agenda you should support. It supports me. I kid.

For me, Facebook encourages my depressive tendencies. And I have been battling a bad run of depression as of late.

In recent weeks, I have taken breaks from Facebook, to see what life was like without it. I discovered that my mental state improved. My creativity returned, I was being productive. Stuff was getting done. Most important, I was not feeling depressed.

When I would sign back in, within a day, I was feeling depressed again. Maybe it is coincidence. Or maybe I see what a friend’s newest agenda-pushing post and I immediately roll my eyes. Then I see that a former beau has passed away unexpectedly, which causes me to rethink my mortality, makes me realize that my short time with him impacted me more than I thought, which causes me to rethink my career, my confidence drops, my thoughts become self-defeating, and depression has now returned full force.

It has been a little over a week since I have started to feel better. I have cried twice in the past week, instead of every day. I am feeling better. I would very much like to continue to feel better.  I have a wedding reception to plan. It is suppose to be am amazing time for me.

I do not need to include in my life things that will make me feel bad again, to bring back the depression. The negatives must go.

Facebook has to go.

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