After reading Jenny Lawson’s recent blog post, I felt a need to say something. I look back on the days when I felt this way, when I felt that there was no way out. It is a very dark place to be. There was no reason for it. My life was not terrible. I had good friends, a loving family and all the support I needed. However, in my mind, I felt I was a burden to those around me. They had their own lives to live, why should I force my troubles on to them? Why make them worry about me? I felt I was not worth it.
Fortunately, I was able to persevere and move past the feeling that the lack of self, the lack of emotions would never return. They can return. The will return. It will pass. I have found writing has worked the best for me. I sit down, and I write, either with pen and paper or via a keyboard. I keep writing, ignoring grammar or form. Once I feel a sense of clarity, I stop. I close the journal and I move on.
Sure, I still have my moments where I return to my dark place, but now I tell myself that it will pass. You have to tell yourself that it is “ok” to feel down every once and a while. In fact, allow yourself to feel down every once in a while. You are allowed to let your emotions or lack of emotions take control every now and then.
I share this because I know there are friends out there who have felt this way or are going through this. Life, your life is important. Your well-being is important. Every once in a while, it needs a reboot. Sometimes this is with exercise, sometimes through good old fashioned crying. Hell, screaming works too. Do what you need to do to get it out. Most important, realize that it will end. You will be better. You, too, will persevere.